So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
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