found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize