It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm too high and old for this...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
