Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
