i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
