I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
