And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize