i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
