Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
