Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
