So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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