I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I am mentally ready for anal.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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