we made out on top of his cat.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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