I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
