he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
