It was confusing and full of hummus
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Dear god my vagina.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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