I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
