I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
