all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
