Soap is not a condiment
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
