So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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