Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
