Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
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