Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
