We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
