i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize