Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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