There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
