p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
