let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
