if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
