I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
