Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
