You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
