help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize