New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Randomize
