That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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