So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
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