Capitaan dildo arrescate!
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
