but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize