i barfeds in our rink
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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