I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize