I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
