so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Randomize
