chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
