I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
