i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
barbara walters just said penis...
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Randomize
