I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
