Need sex. Gaining weight.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
