Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
