Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I think I just sharted jello shots
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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