I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
