wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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