i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
