Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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