I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
