shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
