One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
