Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
