Why are handjobs necessary in class?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I did not marry a roomba.
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