You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
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