He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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