Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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