I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
