yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Fuck me I smell like cheese
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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