Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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