so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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