dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize