I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
