is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
