He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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