Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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