Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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