ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
