He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
