All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
