hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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