There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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