I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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