We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Randomize
